JavaScript must be enabled to play.
Browser lacks capabilities required to play.
Upgrade or switch to another browser.
Loading…
<<audio badtothebone stop>>welcome 4 th newaerc cade presemts... the hit videos game bumber's crumber 3: the 2 the sequel!! [[play]]
<<type 100ms>>it was the night before crumber and all through the humber not a bumber was stirring not even a __''[[bouse]].''__<</type>>
didnt we do this already <<timed 2.5s>>shit man yeah i think we did<</timed>> <<timed 5.5s>>uhmm uhh um<</timed>> <<timed 7s>><<goto "fireplace">><</timed>>
you sit by the fireplace, humbing rod in hand... [[cast line]]
the line it is cast!! time remains... you await........... <<timed 15s>><<goto "fishBite">><</timed>>
a funky wunky creatures bites! [[get him!!]] <<timed 2s>><<goto "gotaway">><</timed>> <<set $fishFight to 10>>
<<audio badtothebone stop>><<audio badtothebone play loop>><<nobr>> <<if random(1,15) is not 6>> <<set _fishList to ["fish"]>> <<else>> <<set _fishList to either(["verticalHalf"], ["horizontalHalf"])>> <</if>> <<for _i to 0; _i gte 0; _i++>> <<if random(1,10) is 3>> <<if random(1,12) is not 2>> <<set _fishList to _fishList.concat("fish")>> <<else>> <<set _fishList to _fishList.concat(either("verticalHalf", "horizontalHalf"))>> <</if>> <<else>> <<break>> <</if>> <</for>> <div style="height: 70vh; width: 62.5vw; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; position: relative; display: block; overflow: hidden;"> <<for _f to 0; _f lt _fishList.length; _f++>> <<set _height to randomFloat(15,25)>> <<if random(1,100) is 45>> <<if random(1,4) is not 2>> <<set _height *= either(2,randomFloat(1.0123456789,3))>> <<for _i to 0; _i gte 0; _i++>> <<if random(1,100) is 82>> <<set _height *= either(2,randomFloat(1.0123456789,3))>> <<if _height gt 60>> <<set _height to 60>> <<break>> <</if>> <<else>> <<break>> <</if>> <</for>> <<else>> <<set _height /= either(2,randomFloat(1.0123456789,3))>> <<if _height lt 2>> <<set _height to 2>> <<else>> <<for _i to 0; _i gte 0; _i++>> <<if random(1,100) is 82>> <<set _height /= either(2,randomFloat(1.0123456789,3))>> <<if _height lt 2>> <<set _height to 2>> <<break>> <</if>> <<else>> <<break>> <</if>> <</for>> <</if>> <</if>> <</if>> <<set _width to _height * 1.79565217391>> <<if random(1,200) is 145>> <<set _target to either(true,false)>> <<if _target is true>> <<set _targetValue to _height>> <<else>> <<set _targetValue to _width>> <</if>> <<if random(1,2) is 1>> <<set _targetValue *= randomFloat(1.0123456789,3)>> <<if _targetValue gt 60>> <<set _targetValue to 60>> <<else>> <<for _i to 0; _i gte 0; _i++>> <<if random(1,100) is 82>> <<set _targetValue *= randomFloat(1.0123456789,3)>> <<if _targetValue gt 60>> <<set _targetValue to 60>> <<break>> <</if>> <<else>> <<break>> <</if>> <</for>> <</if>> <<else>> <<set _targetValue /= randomFloat(1.0123456789,3)>> <<if _targetValue lt 2>> <<set _targetValue to 2>> <<else>> <<for _i to 0; _i gte 0; _i++>> <<if random(1,100) is 82>> <<set _targetValue /= randomFloat(1.0123456789,3)>> <<if _targetValue lt 2>> <<set _targetValue to 2>> <<break>> <</if>> <<else>> <<break>> <</if>> <</for>> <</if>> <</if>> <<if _target is true>> <<set _height to _targetValue>> <<else>> <<set _width to _targetValue>> <</if>> <<unset _target, _targetValue>> <</if>> <<if _fishList[_f] is "fish">> <<set _rounds to 1>> <<else>> <<set _rounds to 2>> <</if>> <<for _i to 0; _i lt _rounds; _i++>> <<if _fishList[_f] is "fish">> <<set _clipping to "">> <<elseif _fishList[_f] is "verticalHalf" and _i is 0>> <<set _clipping to "clip-path: rect(0% 0% 50% 100%); ">> <<elseif _fishList[_f] is "verticalHalf" and _i is 1>> <<set _clipping to "clip-path: rect(50% 0% 100% 100%); ">> <<elseif _fishList[_f] is "horizontalHalf" and _i is 0>> <<set _clipping to "clip-path: rect(0% 0% 100% 50%); ">> <<elseif _fishList[_f] is "horizontalHalf" and _i is 1>> <<set _clipping to "clip-path: rect(0% 50% 100% 100%); ">> <</if>> <img src="ash.png" @style="'height: ' + _height + 'vh; width: ' + _width + 'vh; ' + _clipping + 'top: ' + randomFloat(0,[70 - _height]) + 'vh; left: ' + randomFloat(-1, 56) + 'vw; rotate: ' + either(0, randomFloat(-5,5), randomFloat(0,360), randomFloat(-90,90), randomFloat(-45,45)) + 'deg; transform: scaleX(' + either(-1,1) + '); position: absolute; cursor: pointer;'" onclick="fishClick()"> <</for>> <</for>> </div> <<timed 1.5s>> <<goto "gotaway">> <</timed>> <<done>><<script>> function fishClick() { event.stopImmediatePropagation(); event.stopPropagation(); new Wikifier(null, '<<unset _fishList>><<set $fishFight-->><<if $fishFight lte 0>><<goto "win">><<else>><<goto "get him!!">><</if>><<audio badtothebone stop>><<audio badtothebone play loop>>'); } window.fishClick = fishClick; <</script>><</done>><</nobr>>
<<audio badtothebone stop>>he got away :( [[cast line]]
<<audio badtothebone stop>><<audio badtothebone play>>you caught a [[bouse|stirring]]! wait a minute... <<timed 60s>>no dont actually<</timed>>
<<audio badtothebone stop>>"i thought you werent stirring!!!" said ashh to the bouse "im sorry,,, i was stirring ." saod the bjouse., stirring. he looks you in the eye you feel your heart pounding in your chest you draw closer to the [[bouse|love]]...
<<type 100ms>>it was the morning of crumber and all through the humber a bumber was stirring making love to a __''[[bouse|the end]].''__<</type>>
<<audio badtothebone stop>><<audio badtothebone play>>you win! happy birthday adult humber :) go forth and humb [[play again|Untitled Passage]] <img src="ash.png"> <<repeat 2s>><<audio badtothebone play>><</repeat>>
<<cacheaudio "badtothebone" "badtothebone.mp3">>